Archive for December, 2006

Rednecks are Real

Sunday, December 31st, 2006

Being a redneck means more than just being a country person. A true Redneck is a happy and caring person with a great sense of humor. Rednecks are normally not very wealthy and know how to have fun with a low budget. They care about hunting and fishing over care of their home or yards.

Washington State - 12/28/2005 - Rednecks are real and everywhere.

Rednecks are everywhere, the country, urban and big cities. The true give away is the ones in the city wearing a cowboy hat. Being a redneck is truly a honor. You are a member of folks that live a truly happy life. Enjoying the outdoors, Nascar and being with friends. You know how to save a buck and how to get by with little money.

Here are a few hints to identify if your a Redneck:
- Your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off.
- Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand
- You avoid property that has a lot of grass to cut
- Candy in the house is a must.

Here are some other indicators with your pets, you may be a Redneck:
- You cat eats at the table.
- You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
- You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Yes, it hard to hide it, but redneck are everywhere. The world would be a better place if there were more rednecks. People would all be equal, Wars would be won over quickly, since know one really can afford it. Our leaders would all be wearing overalls and speaking to us from a hunting reserve.

Yes, the true answer to world peace is rednecks. We would all measure each other by the size of our Bass Boats and the length of our uncut grass.

A site has been provided for you to understand Rednecks better at rednecksearch.com and rangerrob.com. Great knowledge and understanding of Rednecks will truly help you to be a better person.
You can also email rednecks@rangerrob.com with any of your questions.

Rangerrob of the Northwest.

A Northwest Outdoor Redneck, supporting friends and Family to enjoy the outdoor together. View Hunting, Fishing, Flyfishing, Kiting, Boating and much more at rangerrob.com rangerrob.com.

Feel free to visit his web services at nwcustomwebs.com nwcustomwebs.com.

Humor - Basic Joke Construction

Sunday, December 31st, 2006

I highly recommend that you read the first article in this series before continuing, for obvious reasons.

In the last article we talked about the key ingredient in humor – the element of surprise – and how creating humor doesn’t start with finding the funny in life, but rather finding the truth in life. Today we are going to start there and travel down the road of joke construction.

Finding the truth

Humor starts with the things we find to be true about life. At this stage of the game we aren’t looking to get a laugh. We are looking for the things we find to be true of life that other people can relate to. That’s a broad topic. So let me make it easier and tell you to look for those things in life that you think are weird, hard, scary or stupid. These are attitude words and I’m not the first or the last to use them. Just find a topic and ask yourself what you find to be weird, hard, scary, or stupid about that topic.

For example: What’s hard about marriage?

If you’re married, I would imagine that several things come to mind.

How about: What’s scary about drinking and driving?

Or: What’s weird about television commercials?

Let me remind you that the goal is not to think funny, but to think truth. The funny will come later. Stick to your attitude words. I recommend that you get a spiral notebook to start collecting all these random thoughts because you will do a great bit of writing before you hit on something you’ll want to keep. When I sit down to write, I like to think of a topic and just let the creative process go. Sometimes I write about what it was like being an overweight teenager – what was weird, hard, scary or stupid. Sometimes I write about being the oldest kid, or being an older parent.

Two things to help you when you go through this process:

1. Think of things other people will relate to. They don’t have to have gone through that exact situation, but you want to find something they can sympathize with. You might not want to talk about what is hard about growing up owning a camel because chances are good nobody in your audience can relate to that. But they can relate to losing a pet, or wanting some kind of strange animal as a pet.

2. The more specific you get your topic, the better. Instead of talking about dating, why not talk about internet dating. Instead of using the topic of parenthood, why not talk about what it’s like to be a lazy parent. When you pick a general topic, keep in mind that hundreds of other comedians are falling on that same general topic. To be unique (which is key in comedy) you need to get more specific.

I have found that some of the best topics are those that make you annoyed, irritated, angry, etc. Chances are good that you’re not alone in that way of thinking. Again, pick the topics that most people will have experienced.

This is actually the topic for the next article, so let’s leave this and jump into joke construction and later we’ll go back to the process of finding topics, which is better done once you’ve learned to craft a standard joke.

Basic joke construction

Let me begin by saying there is no standard joke. There are many different formulas floating around out there created by different people as they explain their own creative path to joke construction. Find the ones that work best for you. Read the books. I recommend Judy Carter’s The Comedy Bible for starters. Then get Greg Dean’s book on Standup Comedy. Those are two of my favorites, but you have a lot to choose from. Study. Practice. And WRITE!

Jokes are told and delivered in millions of different ways – almost as unique as the individual creating the joke. But if you peel it all away, you will find that every joke consists of two parts: the setup and the punch. You will hear it called different things by different people. But it still means the same thing - two parts, the setup and the punch.

The setup is the serious part of the joke. This is where you set your audience up. This is where you force them to make an assumption. Many comedians will mistakenly try to make their setup funny. Don’t. Make it true.

For example:
I lost fifty pounds.

There is nothing funny about this statement.

Here’s the punch:
Oh, not all at once. I lost ten, gained twenty….lost five, gained two….

Okay, so it’s not the best joke in the world, but it’s an example of how a joke has two parts. And, by the way, the setup can be one line or a whole paragraph. Whatever it takes.

The punch is the second part of the joke where you surprise your audience. Remember in the first article where I talked about shattering expectations? Well, here you go. The punch is where you say what they didn’t expect you to say. This is the funny part. And there is more than one way to surprise your audience.

And that’s it. I know, sounds too easy to be true. Trust me, it is anything but easy. It takes work and a lot of writing. It takes writing twenty bad jokes to get to one good one. But if you continue to work through the process, you will get better at it. So let me leave so you can get to work.

But before I go, here are some quick jokes that I’m constructing right here on the spot, simply by creating a setup and then adding a punch. Keep in mind that some won’t seem as funny on paper as they would be delivered on a stage.

My boyfriend and I have been together three years.
Oh, he doesn’t know it yet.

I bought a cream that was guaranteed to get rid of unwanted bulges.
I put it on my husband.

I finally got my son to sleep in his own bed.
About time…..the kid’s fifteen!

Okay, I know I said I was leaving, but one more helpful hint before I go. Write a setup (any setup) and then stop (before you try to think of funny things) and think about what we assume to be true of this setup. When I said above that my boyfriend and I have been together for three years, you assume that he knows it.

The more you start writing setups and punches, the more you will start to see ways that you can tweak your setup to create a better or different surprise. Find words that have double meanings. If you’re a pun man, then start playing with your puns.

Here’s an old old old joke. I can’t remember who wrote it, but it wasn’t me. And I’ve heard many people do it.

The doctor told me I had two weeks to live. I said, “Doctor I want a second opinion.” He said, “Fine. You’re also ugly.”

Okay, I’m really going now. At the count of three. One….two…

Kelly Swanson
It’s all fun and games ’til the hair gets messed up
kellyswanson.net kellyswanson.net
mailto:kelly@kellyswanson.net kelly@kellyswanson.net

Since You’ve Been Gone…

Sunday, December 31st, 2006

My life has changed
in so so many ways
It seems to always be
in a state of disarray…

Without you here
by my side
to hold my hand
and be my guide…

I feel like I’m lost…
wandering through each day
waiting and hoping and praying
that you come to me in some way….

I need you to tell me
that it everything will be okay…
If anyone else is saying it
I never hear them on any day…

Nobody will ever be what
You were to me…
It breaks my heart to know
that I will never see…

Your tender face again
Or touch your fragile body
and feel your unconditional
love reserved only for me…

I would give 10 years
of my life to have you
here with me for just
a month or two…

My love for you began
more than 30 years ago
It grew into a kind of love
that few people ever know…

I know I was truly blessed
to have you as my best friend,
My Grannio and my sole supporter
until the bitter end…

I will never forget
how much you gave,
how much you loved,
or how often you saved…

Me - when I was a little girl
from my nightmares
and when I was grown up
from all the evil dares…

You always stood by me
Faithful, strong and true
Til the bitter end
I knew I could count on you…

Now that you’re gone
and I’m here alone
I realize more than ever
all that you’ve done…

To make my life better,
Safer and Secure
By giving me your love
So unmistakebly pure…

I miss everything about you
all that you were to me
every single day I think
of how my life used to be…

When you were here
with Jakob and me
Things were so different
that it’s hard to see…

Why God had to take you
away from me and my son
so much, much too soon
before your time had come…

I will never understand
and I will forever fear…
how much life hurts
without you here…

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at -

Master of Horoscope - Walter Mercado

Sunday, December 31st, 2006

Celebrities and common people all over the world are known for looking forward astrology masters, spiritual leaders, gurus, and gifted teachers to focus on their pathways in life and carreers. Extravagant psychic and master of the horoscope Walter Mercado is a Puerto Rican astrologer to whom everyone in Latin America and in the United States follows and listens as if the world depends on his predictions.

Born under the sign of Pisces, and with his singular charisma and unique style, psychic Walter Mercado has motivated and enlightened millions of people with his astrological and accurate advice for more than 25 years. Characterized by his positivism and spirituality, Walter guides his admirers to reach a higher consciousness and the realization of their dreams via a better understanding of the psyche and consciousness.

As a youngster in his homeland, Puerto Rico, he was named Walter of Miracles, “the child who could see into people’s pasts and futures, who knew the causes of their illnesses and the way to their cures.” But now, seated on a throne, psychic Walter Mercado speaks with a Grand Divo tone and gestures as if he’s prophesying the Armageddon, though all he’s really doing is reading horoscopes.

Walter Mercado’s psychic gift was given from the moment he was born in 1933; in the 1960’s, he moved to India where he learned about astrology and how to elaborate horoscopes, but his mystery was revealed in 1975 by a spirit guide. The master of the horoscope wrote in his review about that moment, “an asexual being of light told me that it was my mission to use my powers to help guide others through this very difficult time in which we live.”

The Latino psychic has a solid reputation as an authority in astrology chart and horoscope and most of his fame comes thanks to his astrology TV shows which started in Puerto Rico to jump for a wide Latin American market years after. During the late 1980s, he moved to Miami, Florida, where he started to publish and to reveal the daily horoscope to the American public and people abroad. With his charisma and credibility, Walter Mercado reaches millions via mass communication media.

His TV shows on astrology include El Show de Walter Mercado (The Walter Mercado Show), Walter y Las Estrellas (Walter and the Stars), a daily horoscope segment on Univision’s news show Primer Impacto as well as his other shows, and Walter Mercado y Los Signos del Amor (Walter Mercado and the Signs of Love) as his horoscope columns displayed in several publications in the U.S. and Latin America related to the mysticism in the East.
To honor the new millennium, the Latino astrologer wrote Beyond the Horizon: Visions of the New Millennium, which reiterates the common New Age thoughts. Beyond the Horizon takes as its premise the belief that we’re now in a painful transitional period between the Ages of Pisces and Aquarius. While the Age of Pisces was marked by selfishness and war, the Age of Aquarius will bring peace, honesty, the development of new psychic abilities and even contact with beings on other planets.

About his book and the New Age’s Age of Aquarium, he wrote “The Aquarian Age will be a time for men and women to come together as one, to think of themselves as human beings, not as men or women,” Mercado writes. “It is a time of integration, a time to join both of those energies within us–the yin and the yang.”

The Latino astrologer’s trademarks are his wildly colored capes, designer suits and sharp wit. He often involves world situations, politics, The Bible, and numerous other themes in his predictions.

Nowadays, Mercado writes the horoscope for a several Spanish newspapers, TV shows and publication.

Alma De la Cruz, a staff mystic employed by psychicrealm.com psychicrealm.com, has a profound personal history where she has unabashedly delved deep into the heart of occult mysteries for an extensive period of her life. Her name literally means “Soul of the Cross” in Spanish. Currently she is working publishing a manuscript that delves into the mysteries of Hispanic new age beliefs incorporating old insights with new spiritual methodologies.
Check out her bi weekly metaphysical column: newagenotebook.com newagenotebook.com where she takes a new twist, incorporating Latin shamanistic philosophies with leading edge occult beliefs.

How to Use Music Legally in Your Work

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

HOW TO USE MUSIC LEGALLY IN YOUR WORK: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: WHEN DO I NEED A LICENSE TO USE MUSIC IN MY WORK?

A: You need to acquire a license when you want to take music that you have not
personally created and use it as a soundtrack in your production. Acquiring a license
gives you the legal right to include someone else’s copyrighted work as a part of
your own work.

Q: WHAT IS A COPYRIGHT?

A: Copyright is a federal law that protects creators by giving them exclusive rights
to their works. Once a work is under copyright, it is illegal to use the work without
the permission of the copyright owner.

Q: HOW DOES COPYRIGHT EFFECT MY DECISION TO USE MUSIC?

A: Music that has been recorded and issued on CD is protected by 2 copyrights. To
use a recording of a musical composition in your work, you need to get permission
from both copyright holders.

The first permission you need is from the music’s publisher. The music publisher
holds the copyright for the actual written music – the melody, the lyrics, the
accompaniment, the actual music as it would appear in sheet music. This copyright
is shown by using the familiar © symbol.

The second permission is for the recording itself. To get this, you would approach
the record company that released the recording. The record company holds the
copyright for the actual performance of the song captured and mastered on tape
and released on CD. The symbol for this copyright is the letter (P) inside a circle.
(look on the back of your own Cds, you will see these symbols in use). (Author’s
Note: This is where we used the 2 small graphics in the html version showing the (C)
and (P) copyrights)

Q: HOW DO I GET PERMISSION TO USE COPYRIGHTED MUSIC?

A: The fact that music is protected by copyright doesn’t mean you cannot use it, it
simply means you have to seek permission to use it. To receive that permission you
will typically have to pay a licensing fee.

Q: WHAT LICENSE DO I NEED?

A: Here are the licenses you need for the right to use music in your media project:

Synchronization License – This license is issued from the music publisher. The
Synchronization License (often abbreviated as sync license) gives you the right to
“synchronize” the copyrighted music with your images and dialogue

Note: Having a sync license means you have permission from the publisher to use
the music but it doesn’t give you the right to use a specific recording of the
composition. For that you need the following…

Master Use License – This license is issued directly from the record company. Fees
can range from several hundred dollars to millions of dollars depending on the
popularity of the music.

Once you have paid the music publisher for a Sync License and the record company
for a Master Use license, you have the legal right to use the music in your
production.

*****Sidebar*****
This article is about music that is under copyright and NOT in the public domain.
Music written before 1933 is in the public domain and can be used without having
to acquire a synchronization license (you still need a master use license if you use a
recording of a piece in the public domain). Music written after 1933 is still under
copyright according to US law. I hope to discuss the public domain in more detail in
a future article.
******************

Q: WHAT ARE PRODUCTION MUSIC CDS?

A: As you can see from the process described above, licensing music can be a time-
intensive, form-laden, and expensive process. Using Production Music CDs (also
referred to as Royalty Free Music CDs), is the quickest and easiest way to license
music. When you buy music from a production music library, you are immediately
granted both synchronization and master use rights to use the music in your work.

Production Music fills a niche for producers who don’t have a million dollar music
budget and can’t afford to license a major hit song. Production Music gives the
smaller, independent producer the ability to use music soundtracks in his or her
production.

Q: IS PRODUCTION MUSIC UNDER COPYRIGHT?

A: Production music is protected by both the (C) and (P) copyrights. When you buy a
track from a production music library, you’ll receive a license agreement which gives
you both synchronization and master use rights.

Production Music is not copyright-free as some have termed it. It is fully protected
by copyright law. With production music you get ease of licensing. You don’t have
to contact several sources to seek sync and master use licenses.

Q: CAN I LICENSE A FAMOUS SONG FROM A PRODUCTION MUSIC LIBRARY?

A: There are no production music pop hits. You won’t find an Eminem track in a
production music library. To use an Eminem cut you would have to negotiate a
license with Interscope Records. That’s not to say you can’t find Hip Hop tracks in
production music libraries but you won’t find current or past pop hits.

Unlike a pop song, production music is composed to be used specifically as
background music. It is usually instrumental, with no vocals or lyrics, and is similar
to a film soundtrack.

Q: HOW OFTEN CAN I USE PRODUCTION MUSIC TRACKS?

A: The license agreement grants you very broad usage rights. For instance, with the
license agreement from my company, UniqueTracks, you are not limited to one-time
usage; you can use the music again in any other production you create. You don’t
have to inform us of your intent to use or report back once the production is
complete. Once you have purchased the music, you are free and clear to use it as
often as you like within the boundaries stated by the license (i.e. the music has to
be used in synchronization with narration or visuals)

The simplicity of Production music licensing makes it a perfect choice for corporate
videos, Flash animations, PowerPoint presentations, independent film, multimedia
applications, - virtually anywhere where music is helpful but where the project
budget doesn’t included hundreds of thousands of dollars to license expensive
songs.

John Bickerton is Creative Director for the UniqueTracks Production Music Library.
He writes the monthly e-newsletter “Underscore - Secrets of Successful
Soundtracks”, published by UnqiueTracks. Click to subscribe
uniquetracks.com/Newsletter.htm uniquetracks.com/Newsletter.htm

With Futures Betting, Shopping For Value Is Key

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

There are several reasons the casual bettor stays away from futures wagers, but the main reason is that they don’t want to have their money tied up for the course of an entire season. But some bettors have found value in playing futures and some lucky bettors have had huge paydays by picking a longshot early in the season.

The key to finding value in futures betting is to shop early and often – looking for a team with a realistic chance of competing for a title at inflated odds.

Jimmy Mason, spokesman for Nine Sportsbook, said future bets account for less than 1 percent of his book’s handle with the bulk of futures action on the NFL. “Sharps tend to play more futures as they tend to have a larger bankroll to play with and the recreational players don’t like to tie their money up long-term,” Mason said. “Casual bettors tend to make one or two futures bets a year. Typically they bet on their home team and the team they actually think will win the Super Bowl with maybe a long shot thrown in for fun.”

The risk-reward quotient involved in futures betting can be appealing with the possibility that a real long shot could win and a casual bettor or fan can place a small wager with the potential for a huge payoff.

Recent examples of this are the 2003 Florida Marlins who won the World Series at odds of 120-1 and the 1999 St. Louis Rams, who won the Super Bowl that year at preseason odds of 200/1. “We had a max payout on that one (Florida) and a number of sports books took a beating when a little known arena QB named Kurt Warner came from nowhere and destroyed many books when they won the Super Bowl,” Mason commented.

To protect themselves against huge losses that could result from a longshot, Mason said, most books have a maximum payout on any single wager. In the case of Nine, Mason said, that payout is $50,000.

Because odds are updated until whatever point a sports book decides to close wagering on an event it is important to check odds often especially immediately following a significant change in circumstances such as a player transaction or injury. The astute bettor can take advantage of such change by acting quickly after learning of the news.

“Future odds are typically set and adjusted before the season starts and then updated weekly depending on team performance, player movement and maybe most importantly player injuries,” added Mason.

An example of this fluctuation can be seen in the case of the New York Jets, a team with Super Bowl aspirations before the season that now finds themselves with 41-year-old Vinny Testerverde as its starting QB. BetCris has adjusted the odds accordingly and know has the Jets at 200-1 to reach the promised land compared to the 23-1 being offered at Legendz.

Some value to be had this year in the NFL might prove to be the Tampa Bay Bucs who at 4-0 are well on their way to the playoffs and could have been had at Bodog at 40-1 to win the Super Bowl in late July and were listed at 35-1 this week at Legendz. The nationally syndicated Americasline currently has the Bucs as an 8-1 choice to win the Super Bowl.

While some future bets offer long odds they don’t offer what might be considered true value. Take for example the Arizona Cardinals, a 125-1 shot to win the Super Bowl according to Bodog.

Now if you really hate money and feel compelled to bet the Cards to take the Vince Lombardi Trophy back to the dessert come February, don’t you think you ought to get more than 125-1?

Bodog also has the Air Force Academy as a 200-1 shot to win the NCAA Tournament. Considering Air Force has three tournament appearances all-time, and just once since 1962 (2004), I couldn’t see wagering $1 at 200-1 even if they threw the rest of the Mountain West in with the Falcons.

When making a future bet it is important to shop around because the odds almost always differ from book to book and the difference can be dramatic. A look at NHL futures shows a bet on the New York Rangers to win the Stanley Cup can get anywhere from 36-1 to 80-1. While the Rangers probably don’t stand much of a chance at competing for the Cup a diehard might consider plunking down $25 or $50 on the Blueshirts at 80-1.

Considering what goes into winning a championship and all the variables involved favorites on the future line don’t offer much value to the casual bettor.

Canbet lists the Spurs as 5-2 favorites to repeat as NBA champs with the Miami Heat second choice at 4-1. The Philadelphia Flyers are the favorite to win the Stanley Cup at 5-1 or 6-1 at most sites. Tying up money for an entire season at those odds isn’t all that appealing to most people, but might be to the large bettor who can afford to make a sizeable bet.

Also take into account where you place your future bet. It is one thing if you place it at a bricks and mortar casino in Vegas or Jamaica but when placing a future bet online it is even more important that usual to know how reputable the site is because you want to be sure they are still in business when its time to collect.

Doc’s Sports Handy Links:
docsports.com/nfl-odds.html NFL Odds

Video Camcorder Formats and Media

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

There are way too many tape, disk and stick formats out there:

VHS - The old standard, too big, not digital, easily played anywhere without conversion.

VHS-C - A small cassette that fits in an adapter to play in a regular VCR. Most people who have these older units record at the slow EP or SLP speed which gives them borderline crummy results. Not my favorite, as you may guess, but these camcorders are cheap, cheap, cheap. In the right hands, I’ve seen dazzling results.

S-VHS and S-VHS-C - Called “super” VHS, this format puts more details on a VHS-like tape than regular VHS camcorders do, but unless you have a VCR that plays it back, the picture looks all torn and raggedy. A good non-digital format for pros but on its way out.

8mm, Hi8 and Digital8 - A popular family of camcorder tapes primarily engineered by Sony, the small cassette looks sort of like VHS-C but there is no adapter to play it in a VHS VCR. It started with 8mm, got improved by Hi8 (which used to be expensive), and went digital with Digital8. Hi8 camcorders are now on sale very cheaply– they are a good choice for the budget-minded. The ʰ (Digital8) format ain’t bad — it costs less lower than some of the other digital formats, it’s a little larger (therefore more robust?), and ʰ equipment is compatible with computer editing systems through it’s Firewire plugs just like pro gear.

MiniDV - A small tape format that at one time or another all the major manufacturers agreed upon (but some have broken ranks as you step up into pro gear or move to still smaller tape or non-tape formats). At the time this is written, I’d say this is the best all-purpose format around. It’s used in mid-range consumer cameras up to some fine pro-gear used by the broadcast industry, worldwide. You can generally record one hour or so on a tape at normal speed and can get 50% more time at slow speed, but watch out: tapes recorded at the slow LP speed may not play back anywhere but in the camcorder that made them — great 10 years from now when the camcorder has gone to camcorder heaven and you want to dig out those old shots only to discover they play like your VCR has a bad case of the hiccups.

DVCAM and DVCpro - Industrial step-ups of the MiniDV format and standard. Electronically these digital formats are the same as MiniDV, but the tapes are bigger and there are other differences that Sony and Panasonic love to argue about. We mix and match a lot of MiniDV and DVCAM at our (primarily Sony) shop, using DVCAM in our more expensive camcorders where we need to shoot for two or three hours without stop. Panasonic’s DVCpro is similar and has been bought into by a number of broadcasters, but it is less compatible when mixing and matching with MiniDV (in my opinion).

Then there are some emerging formats that I’ve seen for sale or read about, but haven’t bought into yet:

MicroDV - a very small tape in very small Sony camcorders

MiniDVD - a DVD disk in a cartridge used in some Hitachi camcorders.

MPEG video in still digital cameras - some still camera manufacturers feel that you want to also record video with their units. Usually you can collect snippets of less than a minute. The results are interesting to post on a web site, but that’s about it. This video is usually captured on whatever memory sticks or diskettes the camera uses — another whole subject beyond the range of this discussion.

DVD - A major playback format but not yet widely available in camcorders.

I didn’t go into all the older formats and broadcast formats that are still lurking around: 3/4″, BetaMax, BetaSP, and 1″ to name just a few. On top of that, if you are sort of an international soul, you’ve run into the fact that other parts of the world have different TV standards. Ours is called NTSC, much of Europe is PAL, France is SECAM and there are subsets of these. If you are a student of world history shortly after World War II, you can fan out these three major formats to the rest of the world by who was in charge of or aligned politically with whom. The tapes and disks are the same mechanically, but what’s recorded on them is different. It takes special equipment to translate from one format to another.

A big part of our business is dedicated to just transferring all these old and new formats to the more popular playback formats: VHS and DVD. The digital formats are here to stay and pretty-much obsolete the older formats. As this is written, high definition camcorder equipment is not yet available for consumers — this equipment will probably be very expensive when it first shows up. Get a good camcorder today while everyone is still healthy and around, and the kids haven’t grown too big, and don’t second guess yourself about what might or might not be coming down the road.

Video Kitchen can edit, duplicate or convert your video to and from almost any format. Our most popular services are transferring photos to DVD building stunning photo montages and copying VHS and camcorder tapes to DVD to preserve and share those special moments.

We also shoot, edit and do mass duplication of VHS, DVD and CD for businesses and organizations. You can come in and work in an edit suite with one of our editors producing a “broadcast-ready” program or edit together a family video on a self-service basis.

Our wide-ranging transfer services include converting old Super 8, 8mm and 16mm home movie film to video, converting video footage for PowerPoint presentations and encoding clips to be shown on the Internet, to name a few.

We have a location in Louisville Kentucky’s Highlands at 2323 Bardstown Road, Louisville, KY 40205 and one in Jeffersontown in the East End at 1917 Blankenbaker Parkway, Louisville KY 40299. Please browse through our pages at videokitchen.com videokitchen.com and feel free to call six days a week.

My hero, my best friend, my “Grannio” (a.k.a my Grandmother)

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

She raised me like I was her own daughter from the day I was born 32 years ago.

She loved me like nobody else has ever loved me in my life.

She stood by through the most difficult days I’ve ever known.

She showed me more unconditional love and support than I’ve ever imagined.

She taught me how to live, how to love, how to be a lady, how to be a mommy and how to survive.

For 78 years, she had always been as healthy and stubborn as a mule.

About a year ago she stood by my side and fought tooth and nail to help me survive a bitter custody battle and win primary custody of my wonderful two year-old son, who is her only great-grandchild, and the love of her life and my life.

After fighting with everything she had inside of her and seeing me prevail in court, she suddenly became deathly sick. Within days she lost her ability to walk, eat, dress herself, or even get out of bed.

I quit my job to take care of her 24 hours a day. I spent every moment possible at her bedside, talking to her, trying to feed her, bathe her, brush her hair, change her clothes and make her take her medicine.

Finally my uncle, who lives 100 miles away from us, responded to my calls for help. He forced her to see a specialist in his home state.

She spent three months at one of the top hospitals in the country with more than ten doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She suffered a heart attack. She had to be connected to life support. She was forced to have several emergency surgeries to remove a tumor, to remove a blood cot, and a few others to save her life, they said.

My son was not allowed to visit her. She cried a lot. She begged me to bring him. She asked for me constantly. I was told I couldn’t visit for various reasons, primarily, because I was too emotional. I called her every day until they took her phone away.

I thought she was going to die.

She gave me a list of things I had to know, like where the safety deposit keys were hidden, where her cash savings was stowed at the house, where the bank accounts were and how much money she had and who was supposed to get what when she died.

I prayed every day - several times a day. I began a nightly ritual with my son, who learned to say “God Bless Ger,” when he barely said other more common words, like “daddy.”

Somehow, some way, some where, God was listening. He gave me the greatest blessing and answered our prayers about a month ago. The doctors finally identified Grannio’s illness as ‘vasculitis’ and began intensive treatment.

Two weeks ago she was moved from the hospital to a rehabilitation center, just 10 miles from our home. She can’t walk and she is just beginning to regain use of her arms, but she’s alive. Thank God.

God granted us a miracle by giving life back to my Grannio.

My faith is unfathomable.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

Many E-Gold Online Casinos deceive you. Don’t Trust them. Tips to track them down

Friday, December 29th, 2006

You can win in online casinos and make money. Just don′t wait to earn million of dollars. Play with your head and not with your mouse (don′t click,click,click)
If the casino you play is reliable then you must experiment. We are talking about odds here so “invest” some money and test them

Fields of your experiment:
1. Various games
2. Different hours
3. Split your balance and play equal amounts every day. Not all your money in 5 minutes
4. Play with normal bets. Needless to say that with $0.50 or $1.00 you can still play but don’t wait to win anything serious. My average suggested deposit is from $50-$500 (not bet, deposit) per time. My average suggested bet is from $1 - $20
5. In some games there are stats about the numbers (Roulette for example) use them
6. Some casinos give stats about the players. Go to less crowded games or try the crowded games with big bets (over $50 per bet)
7. Always check their alexa.com rank. If the casino is over 1,000,000 forget it. Choose only websites under the 200,000 rank spot ( in alexa the smaller number the better )

I saw online casinos that most of the tips above work (not all)

SOME BASIC RULES :
1. Don′t expect to spent $5 and learn everything
2. Gamble is fun not a way to live. Online Casinos are Money Rearrangement not Money Machines. Face it Casinos are not a magical place that you will give you money from nowhere. Usually you WIN the MONEY someone else lost. However it’s still Luck, use it with care.
3. If you loose, you lost. Calm down and visit the casino another time
4. Never, EVER, Gamble your Food or Rent or anything it’s necessary for your life
5. Don’t go with a new date to a real casino, or visit an online casino in an internet spot. He/She will probably abandon you

Mr. Tony Amey is a freelance editor and online casino reviewer
Lately devoted Gambler to dpCASINO.com the Favorite E-Gold Online Casino for Webmasters and Players ( dpCASINO.com dpCASINO.com)

Bruce Almighty (DVD) Review

Friday, December 29th, 2006

Personally, Bruce Almighty is my favorite Jim Carrey movie ever. It’s never outlandish in its approach, and at times, it’s quite serious and adult. In fact, for a comedy, it presents some surprisingly deep philosophical questions concerning the actions of a just God and our place in the universe. Inevitably, it sparks internal and external debate among viewers in regard to what we would personally do if we held the power of God in the palm of our hand…

In Bruce Almighty, Carrey plays the role of Bruce Nolan, a local television reporter always assigned to cover less than thrilling events in and around his hometown. Dreaming of the network anchor chair, he works tirelessly to rid himself of the “funny guy” image. He lives with girlfriend Grace Connelly (Jennifer Aniston), but the two get into a major argument when Bruce, who loses his bid for anchorman to the underhanded Evan Baxter (Steve Carell), flies off the handle and loses his job. Discontent with his failure, and constantly blaming God, Bruce directs his anger at those around him. But in the interim, he receives numerous calls from an unknown phone number. When he finally calls the number, he’s offered an interview for “the job of his life”. Curious, Bruce attends the interview in a bleach-white building where he’s confronted by a mysterious janitor who claims to be God (Morgan Freeman).

God confronts Bruce with all the complaints he’s made, and then makes a surprising offer. God will let Bruce take his job for two weeks. God will go on vacation, and Bruce will be granted all the powers of the Almighty…

The result is an hour and a half of utter hilarity. Bruce begins by parting his tomato soup and proclaiming himself “Bruce Almighty”. He then uncovers the biggest story of the year when he “happens upon” the recovery of Jimmy Hoffa’s body. Inserting himself in the backdrop of an endless string of amazing news stories, Bruce gets his old job back and watches his personal stock soar. Sabotaging Evan’s career, Bruce is given the anchor chair he so covets.

But along the way, his relationship with Grace falls apart, the world around him edges closer to anarchy, and the powers of God become too much for Bruce to handle. Unable to cope with the looming disaster of his actions, Bruce encounters God once again, but this time his life perspective is far different than before…

Some of the scenes in this film are beyond description, they’re so funny. In one such scene, Bruce (now having the power of God) faces down a gang which had previously beat him senseless. What he does to their leader will make every viewer cringe. More than just a comedy, Bruce Almighty forces the audience to imagine themselves in a similar situation. A wonderful and intriguing idea for a story, Jim Carrey brings the film to life and entertains audiences with a comedic omnipotence of which God himself can be proud…

About the Author

Britt Gillette is author of The DVD Report, a